ames(french): friend. amy(latin): beloved. jasmine(persian): jasmine flower. wong(chinese): yellow.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

akward question

Bumping into someone who I haven't talked to for a long time.

Me: Hey! It's been a long time... how are things going?
Acquaintance: Not bad, not bad... me and my boyfriend etc. etc. etc.

(several minutes after surface talk)

Acquaintance: So... do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I don't
....
Acquaintance: Well, why don't you?
Me: (err........)

Now, exactly what kind of question is that? An offensive one? Yes. I don't like the implications of this question... lol.

It bothers me that our lives are constantly being measured against these things. I want more then this in my life. Why have we become satisfied with so little? I'm tired of mediocrity. I'm tired of being okay. I'm tired of the facade people wear. I'm tired of caring what others think.

Oh switchfoot, you never fail to express how i feel...

"... Everyone's a lost romantic, since our love became a kissing show.
Everyone's a casanova, come and pass me the mistletoe
Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone
She is easier than love, is easier than life. It's easier to fake and smile and bribe
It's easier to leave. It's easier to lie.
It's harder to face ourselves at night, feeling alone..."
Easier than love - switchfoot


God, take my life and make it more! I am so desperate for more of you. I'm desperate for a life of boldness, of fearlessness... to not be afraid to be who i am, to say how i feel and share what i believe in. Make my life like living music, full of emotion, full of expressions.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

childhood memories relived

Yesturday my childhood memories got dug up. I met the boy who went to my elementary school, ramer wood, who me and amanda used to play with. He was a year younger than us and he just left one year in gr6. Just gone. I always wondered where he went; we had fun playing together. It just so happened he goes to waterloo now and so happened that he went to ccf. After ccf i was talking to some froshies and it so happened he joined the group just as i was leaving. Thanks to his amazingly good memory he recognized me when he saw my name tag and called after me. I didn't even know he was talking to me, i thought he was calling another amy, lol. It was quite awesome, i mean, what are the chances of meeting someone you havn't seen for like 6/7 yrs and by chance be able to meet at a university of thousands of people, and so happens to go to ccf, and so happens to recognize you after years of change? It was very awesome, and very rare for something like this to happen. For people to be in a same place at a same time it's something we take for granted alot of the times. I remember I had a high school teacher who took a pic with every single class she had because she said after this course none of these same people would be in the same room at the same time again.

wow, ramer wood. i need to go and visit one day, hv not gone back since the last day of gr8. there's so many people i wish i hv their contact just to know what they're doing now, how they turned out. kids you play with in your childhood are special, the memories are very strong... i rmb during recess in the winter we pretended we lived in antarctica and that the place was called 'Itkaluit', lol. We all had some sort of native names, it was so much fun. i rmb playing with 'yellow' snow, lol. i rmb picking pedals of this flower and sucking the honey on the end. prob wasn't very clean, but it tasted good! i rmb the wooden playground which is replaced by plastic now b/c it is 'unsafe'. i rmb playing with rocks and sand. i rmb playing with squishy things beneath the table (that was gum). i rmb getting bullied. lol. they were good times.

Oh almost forgot to mention the name of the boy who one day disappeared from my school is Tim Ng. If you happen to have gone to ramer wood and happen to stumble across my blog please leave your contact! the chance is so small but then again what were the chances of meeting up with tim again?

So, not too much happening... school, essay, lab reports, midterms... all the norm... been really wanting to play piano the last few days. I wish the piano room wasn't so far and wasn't always booked! Music is something i enjoy so much but just seems like i havn't been doing much with it lately... i'm torn once again about optometry school. everyone tells me that i have to apply second yr or else it'll be very hard to get in in third yr. but i don't hv enough time to complete all my required courses! well, technically i can but that'll be really difficult and i'm no where near ready to do my OAT. I don't even know how to apply to opt! Where am i gonna get my references? An autobiography? you kidding me? so yeah. second yr is pretty out of the question... i guess just let God guide me. I would enjoy teaching i think... but then i wish i went to Western for music teaching. To be a music teacher would have been so much fun... like, not a piano teacher but a real band 'conductor' that would've been cool. Of course, then again alot of pressure comes with that. See my problem is that i'm constantly torn between my creative and technical/logical side. I'm not technical and logical enough to be super smart in the sciences... but i'm not a very out there arts person. Maybe that's why they say i'm not a right or left brain, i use both sides equally... that also proves why making decisions is so difficult for me, lol.